If you’ve lost a child or suffered from some form of traumatic loss, our hearts and support go out to you. Trying to make sense of it is like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip. Nobody can carry your grief for you or take it away; you have been blessed the curse.
What others can do is offer support. We are new at this…but here is some stuff we have found helpful, in no particular order.
A Grief Observed – CS Lewis: Written after his wife’s tragic death as a way of surviving the “mad midnight moment,” A Grief Observed is C.S. Lewis’s honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss.
Compassionate Friends – Support Group: If you are a member (or a friend) of a family that has suffered the death of a child, The Compassionate Friends is here to help you and provide support for the family. Feel free to contact TCF’s National Office at 877-969-0010 or at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Write: Regardless if you’ve never done it before or if you’re an expert, writing helps a lot of people. Use a blog, use a pen and pad, open up a word document just for you. Nobody needs to see it or show it to the world; just write.
Talk: If you have a significant other or close friend, talk to them; listen to them. Sit in silence and hold their hand. If you are the significant other or close friend: check with your person. Your life may have gone back to normal, or never changed; theirs has not. Provide support,* especially when you think the dust has settled.
*Unless you are 100000% positive the person you are supporting is currently as devout into your faith as you are, avoid religious or faith based comments or providing religious support. Demonstrate your faith and religion through respect and understanding for their current circumstances.
Raise for Rowyn: Raise for Rowyn provides financial assistance and emotional support to families struggling with child loss.
Memo to Religious People: Many Atheists Don’t Want to Hear That Their Loved Ones “Are in Heaven“: For some grieving non-believers, the comforts offered by religious believers are neutral, and can even be positive. But for many non-believers, these comforts are actively upsetting. They are the antithesis of comforting. They rub salt in the wound.
Planning Ahead Can Make a Difference in the End – By Aaron Freeman
Christianity Today’s Top 5 Books on Loss – By Nancy Guthrie